


GammaFrost: I'll be good

by SouthernLolita



Series: GamaFrost Tales [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reborntale, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Presumed Dead, Redemption, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, baby peter is adorable, bruce is goals, deadpool in his natural habitat, lokitty is a brat, lokitty is bomb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:06:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14883857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthernLolita/pseuds/SouthernLolita
Summary: Loki is given a second chance at life, along the way he must learn the value of the mortals he once tried to conquer and the value of himself. He just might find the help he needs in the most unlikely of places. ( I'm not good at summarys lol)





	1. Prologue: I thought I saw the devil.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Hello my lovely readers and welcome the newest offering to my Gamma Frost collection. I know it has been a long while and I hope you missed me as much as I have missed all of you. This one will be a lot lighter than my previous fics. For those of you who read “Dignity at Dawn” this is my apology for ripping out your precious hearts and stomping all over them. That's not to say that I won't go for some feels here, cause let’s face it, I wouldn't be me if I didn't. You all know I like to attack some strong subject matter and have an underlying message to all of my works. So ready your popcorn, fluff your pillows, and have a blanket handy! Most of all Enjoy!

Loki was dead.

It all happened so abruptly, one moment living, breathing, and fighting and then...not. To add insult to injury he had perished to save Thor of all people, yet if the trickster was being honest with himself he always knew that big blond oaf would have gotten him killed one day. Although, Loki thought his final demise would in some manner be grander than that, laying on a field in the arms of his not-brother. Feeling the life slowly leaving his body bit-by-bit. It just appeared so...pointless and anticlimactic. There was no glorious retaliation for those who had lied to him and treated him as little more than a relic. No throne, no kneeling subjects, no glory.

 

How had his entire life added up to disgraceful tears and the virulent taste of blood on his lips being his final moments?

 

It wasn't at all like going down in the midst of glorious battle, being thrown from his horse and clawing his way over the broken bodies of his comrades until finally, finally even as the fires of victory rage, he would meet his end. The warrior’s death that had been so venerated in the stories of his youth, the tale of bravery and courage that had rocked him to sleep. Stories that he claimed to care so little about and yet loved in secret. Maybe he wasn't a hero, he wasn't even kind. That didn't mean that Loki had no honor or in the very least crave the dignity of going down fighting.

 

Technically he had been fighting, not really a war he would have chosen for himself but...The Dark elves had taken something from him. Someone irreplaceable.

 

“ _I didn't do it for him.”_

 

No. He did it for her.

 

Now he was just gone. The end, finite...

 

You would think after a sword to the chest for Odin's golden child there would at least be a reward of some kind. But no, there was no payoff, no Valkyries, no gilded halls of Valhalla.

 

To be fair Loki suspected he had been too much of an ass to end up in any place 'heaven like'. However, the idea of meeting with Hela, Lady Death or Lucifer – seemed less than appealing. Loki never had been too keen on punishment.

 

Maybe he should have let that blond lummox die...

* * *

 

The afterlife...was lack luster so far. Honesty Loki wasn't all that sure he was dead in the beginning and not having the realms most boring nightmare. Maybe that's what this was? Maybe he was actually safe and sound in one of the healing rooms on Asgard, with any luck he was being hailed as a hero and would wake up to the realm singing his praises...ha doubtful.

 

If he was alive he would likely be thrust back in a cell just as soon as he was able to function. He would be forced to look at his not-brother telling him that 'while he acted admirably he must still atone for his crimes.' Now he wouldn't even have the kindness of Frigga's illusions to keep him sane.

 

Frigga, she hadn't deserved to die. She was good, kind, warm, all the things a mother should be. She was nothing like Loki.

 

Being dead didn't sound so bad, it meant an end to all of the turmoil and the anger. In some ways Loki thought death would bring peace, even if it held no reward for a single deed of selflessness. The fates could at least grant him the courtesy of an eternity spend with calm solitude, but this...this just seemed...stupid.

 

A waiting room...really? How pathetic.

 

“Take a number” a nasally voice drones from behind a glass partition. A woman sat filing her dagger like red nails and popping gum obnoxiously.

 

Loki raised one raven-haired brow, “Excuse me?”

 

The receptionist let out an extremely put-upon sigh, “Take a number, when ya number is called ya pick up ya sorting paperwork. So take a number buddy, because ya aren't the first guy who died today.”

 

Well wasn't she just sunshine and roses?

 

Loki wandered over and snatched one of the little ticker tapes from its dispenser and eyed the numeral. “2962...wonderful.” he said dryly, wondering off to one of the less than inviting hard plastic chairs.  
  
The fallen god looked around the room at his fellow dead guests. Some warriors, even a few of the dark elves sit secluded in the corner. They look far too pleased to see him there. Aside from the dark elves there were individuals from every corner of the galaxy. Looking closer the space seemed far larger than he first thought. The waiting room seemed to go on infinitely.

 

Maybe this was his punishment, wasting away in horrid white linoleum tiled room sitting in uncomfortable red plastic chairs. Aforementioned chairs were already making his ass go numb. A hell filled with numb asses. Of course that was a thing, how long before they started playing some awful Midgardian pop music on repeat? That would truly make this torture complete.

 

Loki slouched in his chair, princely poise now out of the window. Did it really matter now anyway? “Could this get any worse?”

 

Just then, the door burst open to revel a man clad head to foot in red and black leather.

 

“Woo! That was faster than I thought! Note to self, Yellow take a memo: Do not grab Storms ass and ask her what she'd do if we made it rain. Ok maybe just one more time but have a quick escape route cause getting your balls electrocuted hurts like a mother. Oh sweet magical unicorns! I hope the boys are ok!”

 

The man turned his back on the waiting room and then began fiddling with zippers and buckles to get a look down at his aforementioned injured crotch.

 

Loki sneered as he watched from a distance. He didn't know who this moron was but was damn sure that however the man died it was likely well deserved.

 

“Whew! That was a close one. Hey lefty, righty, how’s it hangin? Looks like the future generations of gene pool cleaners is still safe!” The man cheered, thankfully zipping up his pants before making his way into the waiting room.

 

“Hey Brenda!” The idiot cooed tapping on the glass enclosure around the rude receptionist. “You look nice today! Is that a new blouse?”

 

The woman blushed and straightened her cat-eyed glasses. Her long red nails toying with the pearl dotted chain dangling from each earpiece. “Oh Wade, ya such a charmer! What can I do for ya honey?”

 

What can I do for you? What can I do for you? Loki was internally screaming. How did this nimrod get special treatment! He was a prince of...oh yeah not a prince. Technically he died as nothing more than a bastard of a frost giant and criminal. Still, in all fairness this cretin was just talking to his own testicles.

 

“Oh I won't be here long, you know the whole thing. I just need a quick word with a certain lovely spooky sugar lipped grim gal! And then I can get back to slicing and dicing up stairs.”

 

The receptionist frowned. “Sorry Wade, Lady Death is a little booked at the moment. Ya gonna have to take a number and wait with the rest of the stiffs in the joint. I can get ya some coffee though for the wait though honey.”

 

Loki felt a smirk curl on his lips, at least this reject wasn't going to be skipping to the head of the line.

 

The red and black suited man groaned and pressed his masked face to the glass. “Really? Brenda, baby, doll, kitty, booboo....you're killin me! Okay maybe not killing since I am dead. But you catch what I'm layin down here right? Can't you just put in a good word? Pretty please with me on top?”

 

She shook her head with a giggle. Brenda pushed a paper cup of steaming coffee through the little slot in her window. “Sorry Wade, thems the breaks.”

* * *

 

Loki just wondered why in all that was creation that this was a thing. He was dead, stuck in this boring place, and now, stuck with this never ending purgatory with the most annoying individual in all of the nine realms.

 

“Heeeey there buuuudy.”

 

Oh sweet Norns.

 

“No.”

 

The masked man plopped down next to him, “No? That's not very friendly...Hey have I seen you before, you look super familiar. Do you work at that bdsm club on 4th street?”

 

Loki leaned forward, head in his hands, “This is my penance isn't it” he mumbled against his palms. This had to be his punishment, it was the only explanation. “No, I do not work in such a place, now would you please refrain from speaking to me.”

 

Oh if only it were that easy. As if a simple dismissal would have ever been enough to ward off this brand of all-encompassing annoyance and stupidity. Because honestly, if he wasn't already dead, Loki was sure this moron could have talked him to death.

 

It felt like a millennia listening to this idiot go on and on about everything under the sun. Topics ranging from breakfast to 'why do the little coffee stir sticks look like straws if you can't actually use them as a straw without feeling like your about to pop an aneurysm.' Until finally by some blessed miracle his number was called. Loki practically sprang out of his chair and ran. Even that mean spirited little receptionist could have been a glowing angle for as far as he was concerned.

 

Loki was never gladder to pick up his 'paperwork' and head off to the subsequent waiting area far away from the over talkative fool in red.

 

The 'paperwork' consisted of two pages on a flimsy clipboard. Basic identification and a series of random yes or no questions concerning one’s life and death. He filled it out quickly and slid the survey back through the appropriate window slot.

 

Apparently, the reception room was the main feature in this odd maze of white washed florescent lit rooms. This place seemed to change subtly at every glace. Ever expanding and shrinking like watching a mirage in the desert. The educated part of the fallen Princes mind wished to know what power could create such an illusion. Or if it even was an illusion. Perhaps this purgatory realm simple was what it was. A place between the planes that both existed and did not exist.

 

After a few moments of clacking away on an ancient looking computer, Brenda adjusted her glasses then looked back up at the trickster. “Head over to your right and walk to the end of the hall, door number three.”

 

Finally, at this point Loki could care less if he spends the next 100,000,000 years in some deep dark pit. Because after the just15 minuets of conversation he had with that idiot from the waiting room, paired with Madame charming and her grating accent.

 

Or at least that's what he thought.

 

Somehow his former irritation seemed to pale as he stepped through the threshold of his destination. The room seemed to pull the willingness to throw himself to the wolves’ right out of him. The area was shrouded in a dark haze, the only light was given off by small glowing orbs that hung suspended in the air. The misty golden light was unable to penetrate the oppressive darkness past a few feet, lending all the more to the sense of for boding as each unsteady step in the inky black miasma below. Faintly, Loki was reminded of the void. The memory sent a shiver up his spine. Perhaps any second he would simply fall and keep falling.

  
His footfalls sounded too loud and too heavy with every step. Walking and walking, each step resounding like lead on the stone floor that lay just out of sight. For the first time Loki felt true fear, the cold sweat on the back of his neck slipping past his collar and down his back. Even in the void, even with Thanos and the other, he knew what to presume with them. Somewhere in his clever mind he always knew he could beat them. It's what he did, it was what he was good at. The God of Lies, Silver tongue, all these designations he had earned well and used them to his advantage. This however was a place where his weapons of wordplay would be meaningless. He had played his final card and found that choosing the noble path for once hadn't done him any favors.

 

Loki considered his parting words in in the world of the living. “I'm sorry...I'm a fool...I'm a fool...I didn't do it for him.” That's what sentiment earned him. An early grave. Would they even mourn him? Doubtful, perhaps Thor...the overgrown child his not-brother was. Yes, he would shed a few tears at Loki's demise. Odin? No. The All-Father had made it perfectly clear that he had washed his hands of his troublesome little war prize.

 

“Welcome Trickster.”

 

Loki stopped, looking into the darkness ahead of him. The veil of the shadow began to lift and Loki could have sworn he was still alive because he felt his heart shutter in his chest at the sight what manner of torture was this?

* * *

 

Hela's appearance he could understand, she was the goddess of death and certainly not a fan of his. In truth Loki had always expected that at his demise he would end up standing before the imposing figure on her throne of bone and flame. It was the figure standing at her side that he could not comprehend.

 

Frigga.

 

No. not her....not here.

 

“Hello my darling.”

 

“Mother...” The word tumbling out of his mouth before he could will it to stop. Loki felt as small as he had so long ago, a shivering child crying out in the night.

 

Why was she here? She who had always given so much and expected so little from everyone in return. There was no way she deserved a fate like this. Yet there she was, Frigga stood next to the large horned throne where Hela sat.

 

Half of the goddesses face shrouded in a curtain of ghostly white hair, one decayed hand clutching a macabre scepter. The goddess was not putting on a false face with in these walls. Hela ruled upon her deathly dais looking down on the souls so unfortunate to come before her. There was no compassion to be found in this place. This was where those who failed to meet the halls of Valhalla came to rot. Many had stood in this very spot, were measured and found wanting.

 

Loki had not been a good man, not particularly brave or kind in his life. He learned at a young age what it meant to be different, even if he did not understand the extent of his true 'otherness'. The once prince still knew he was not like the other strapping young men of Asgard. Not like his boisterous brother and the warriors kept in Thor's company. So Loki found his talents elsewhere, he sulked among the vast libraries and gleaned knowledge from the mages in his mother court. Growing up listening to the quiet whispers against him, Loki decided early on – it was better to be feared than loved.

 

Foolish sentiments of affection were worthless. Love was far too fickle of an emotion, ruled by whims rather than logic. Trust likewise could be gained or lost with a simple turn of phrase, and the young prince learned how to play the game.

 

That was why this made no sense, Loki by all rights deserved to be here, but not her.

 

Seeing the look of confusion on the man’s face the goddess sighed and took a modicum of mercy on him. “Lady Frigga is here by choice, as she has asked a favor concerning your afterlife. Lucky for you, my respect for her out my contempt for you.”

 

Loki didn't understand, was Frigga here to plead for his release? There wasn't much else he thought could be done considering he was already dead. There was no concept of time here, if could have been a day, hours or years since his last breath. His body could be no more than ash in the wind by now. Even if he was allowed to leave this plain; where would he go?

 

Hela rolled her eyes as she continued to speak, “If it were up to me I would let you spend eternity crawling naked through hot coals. However, it has come to my attention that you may not be without reproach. That being said, having reviewed your antics in life I do not feel you are fully deserving of Valhalla.”

 

Frigga crossed the room and touched his hands, Loki found himself gazing at her so intently. Those stormy blue eyes he thought he would never see again. “My Loki.” she says, her voice so tender and warm. A voice he thought he would never hear again.

  
“I...I'm so sorry.” nearly sobbing he fell into her waiting arms, “I'm sorry...”  
  
“No my darling, it was not your fault. Never your fault. I made my choice and I would gladly make it again.” She took his face in her hands, “Loki look at me, and look at me son.”

 

He looked up, feeling so ashamed to have broken so easily. Not only in-front of her but Hela who sat not far behind.  
  
“I am so proud of you.” Frigga continued, “You did such a good thing my darling, I always knew you had goodness inside of you. I just want you to have another chance to show the world how wonderful you can be.”

 

Now Hela was standing, “As lovely as this reunion is, I must interrupt. Lady Frigga has asked that you be given a second chance to regain your life. Normally, I would never consider such an offer but I find myself curious as to how well you may fair a second time around.”

* * *

 

The offer was a simple, Loki was going to get a second chance at life. He would have one year in which he must atone for the sins of his past and learn the value of life. If he failed, his soul would belong to Hel. If he succeed he would be free to enjoy his new life.

 

It seemed too good to be true. He had so many questions, so much doubt, unfortunately there was no time for any of that. Lady Hela snapped her fingers and Loki's vision went white.

 


	2. This morning

In every religion, since the beginning of time, the concept of atoning for the wrongs in this life within the next is a common feature. Be it hell or karma, the souls of the fallen are measured by deeds of sacrifice, kindness, dishonor and cruelty. The more tainted the soul the more sever the concept of punishment. Some would argue that without such beliefs – what good would mortality be? Why do anything if life it self is but a meaningless toy? Others may say that you should not need some shining prize in the distance or fear of punishment to gauge your behaviors in the present. Regardless of dogma, across the universe these beliefs still held true.

Goodness was to be rewarded and Evil Punished.

However, the punishment itself was not always meant to be a final deserving consequence of ill behaviors. In some cultures the idea of punishment was merely a stepping stone in an unending flow. Pain that lead one to learn the error of their ways and grow from it. To realize they needed this penance and beg for forgiveness. At the end of such trails the punished could seek a second chance. For many this was a comfort.

It was never to late and anyone can change.

Even in the eyes of such wrathful gods there is hope, a second chance through repentance and flagellation. The gift of wisdom through suffering. Some grand moral lesson that could only be found by undergoing life altering tribulation.

To walk a mile in another mans shoes. A king to live as a pauper, the master to become the slave. Learning didn't end because the body decayed. The soul it self flowed through the branches of the life tree and sprouted new fruit – and with the lessons from the past that new life could grow a little better.

 

For Loki, a chance to become a better man, would mean something else entirely.

 

 

* * *

Shoot to thrill blared through the suites external speakers as Tony Stark shot down another of Doctor Dooms Robotic Jellyfish. Sparks flew and little scraps of metal and wire rained down onto the city that never sleeps.

Just another wonderful Wednesday in New York for the Avengers.

 

“Richards really needs to keep this guy on his own block. Seriously, making us do all the work while he sits up there and plays stretch Armstrong all day. It's inconsiderate is what it is, I should make an itemized list of damages and send it to him. Jarvis do that, daddy can't be cleaning up after Victor Von Douche on his own dime. Just because the fantastic fuckfaces can't remember to lock their gate, does not not mean little Vicky can come out to play with my fancy toys.” The billionaire commented, sending a blast at another one of the metallic creatures.

 

“Right away Sir, shall I also add the structural damages to the surrounding area to the invoice as well Sir?”

 

“You know me so well J.”

 

It took them a while to wrangle all of the silvery fake sea creatures and get them safely out of the city and to the docks. Trying to keep the energy siphoning robots from wrapping their sparking tentacles around power-lines and traffic lights. If allowed to roam in populated areas the havoc from downed electrical systems could be life threatening.

Thankfully, the faux jellies were not nearly smart enough to be selective about what type of power source attracted them and a with the God of thunder kicking up an electrical storm over the open water- they followed like lambs to the slaughter.

The name of the game was brute force and overloading the metal jellies hard drives, which didn't sound all that difficult in practice but as with anything Doom did- he was more about quantity than quality. So they had to bring out the big guns.

 

“Code green is on the field, make room for him guys.” Caps warning came only moments before a roar ripped through the morning air frighting every sea gull in a five mile radius.

 

“Awe, look at our little Bruce. All grown up and crushing robotic critters like a big boy. Steve honey I hope you remember to jot this down in the baby book.” Stark crooned over the com links.

 

Below Steve rolled his eyes and looked to the sky where a flash of red armor just blew away a cluster of irate robots. “What did I say about chatter on the coms.”

 

“Come on now, no one likes it when Mommy and Daddy fight Steve. Think of the children.” was the answering jibe from the inventor.

 

“Remember Steve,”Natasha cut in, “You brought this on yourself when you married that idiot.”

 

Yeah, yeah he did.

* * *

A lot of people might think being an Avenger is glamorous, out being a hero and saving the day. Getting the key to the city and your picture on the front page – kissing a baby most likely. However, most people don't realize what happens after the fight.

 

“Alright team good work, SHIELD has containment en route to gather up whats left of these things so they don't fall into the wrong hands.” Steve said settling his shield against his back. The Captain looked around at the docks and down the street to the line of warehouses. Not too bad damage wise; if one did not account for the smoking heaps of twisted metal, still going to count this one as a win though.

There was a clang to his right as the Iron man suit touched down, “Yeah cause the last thing we want is some tech savvy teen building a taser shooting can opener with all these bits and bobbles of technological garbage.”

 

“Tony please be serious.”  
  
“Honey I am, you actually could do that. I could anyway.”

 

Steve poked at a lump of ruined metal with his boot. “Oh..well yeah we don't want that. After the contain team finishes we'll have to contact the city clean up for any structural issues. Also anything in the city that was damaged on the way out here.”

They really had done their best to corral the robots quickly and lead them away, even so Steve was sure there was a lot of broken windows and a good number of damaged power lines along the way. None of which the mayor was going to look at favorably – despite the fact that they had managed to save the citizens. That unfortunately was bureaucracy. Rogers was already considering all of the public appearances he and the rest of the team were going to have to make in the next few days just to smooth things over. He had hoped his days of smiling for the camera were over, yeah that had only just begun. At least there were no showgirls this time.  
  
“If I may Captain Rogers,” Jarvis, the familiar AI spoke up from the suits speaker system. “I've taken the liberty to alert City services about the damage with in the business district where you first encountered the Doom bots. They have dispatched electrical crews to replace the damaged wires and transformers. As for your current location, Stark industries already owns several of the near by shipping houses and repair crews are on stand-by. Those not under Sir's corporate reach have also been contacted.”

 

“Thank you Jarvis. That's extremely helpful of you.”

 

Tony flipped up the face plate grinning, “J, do you have a crush? Is that why you're sucking up to Steve?”

 

The super solider before him just pinched the bridge of his nose, walking away to avoid hearing the inventor have some ridiculous argument with his own creation.

* * *

For once it seemed like everything was coming together, not that the last few months had been terrible. In fact, for everyone at the tower the last year had been almost too good. Everyone was getting along, Steve and Tony were married and ,with Pepper's insistence, fostering a little boy named Peter for the last four months. To everyone's surprise, fatherhood had actually agreed with both men. Although- it wasn't hard to spot that Captain Rodgers had easily become the biggest mama bear in all existence.

The rest of the team was also experiencing a rare moment of happiness. Natasha and Barnes were now officially a thing, Coulson was very much not dead and Bruce...well Bruce was calm so that was a bonus.

The only person who seemed to be struggling these days was Thor. Having lost so much in the last year, the rest of the team tried their best to be there for there thunder wielding comrade in his time of grief. Even so, all in all – the world didn't seem like such a dark place anymore.

At least, from outside appearances. The thing about people is you can never really know what they are thinking or feeling. Through the smiles and laughter there could also be pain. Often times those who seem the most happy can be the ones who hide the most.

 

There comes a time when you can't hide anymore.

 

 

* * *

Bruce fluttered his tired eyes, waking up in a pile of rubble for what wasn't the first and certainly wouldn't be the last time in his life. If anything, the good Doctor had gotten used to these 'post hulk-out' moments. The reminiscent feeling of tired muscles and dirt laden hair was just part of the job these days.

Shaking off the dust and and debris once more, all he wanted to do was go home and shower and relax.

Every time he changes now it feels harder and harder to get back to himself. It's like coming down from some massive drug overdose – one that leaves you wrung out with itchy eyes and cotton mouth. He wonders if one day he won't come back at all. What happens when his body has simply had too much? The Gamma radiation becomes too ingrained and he is simply.....lost.

It's a familiar nightmare; one that Bruce takes no joy in revisiting even for a moment. He's spend enough time today as big green – smashing and crashing all in the name of the greater good. No, he would like to head back to his apartment in the tower and draw a nice hot bath. Maybe with some of those Lavender beads that Pepper got him for his birthday, yeah that sounded nice.

After he could wrap up in one of those ungodly expensive bathrobes that Tony insisted be placed in everyone's bathroom. Christ on a cracker those things were amazing. Like being wrapped in sunshine and hope. Then maybe he'd brew some tea and microwave that leftover chicken curry.  
  
Bruce sighed and set to the task of picking up what’s left of his clothes. Not for the first time did Banner say a silent thank you to his science bro for managing to figure out Hulk safe boxer briefs. It's bad enough turning into an enormous green rage monster with out adding insult to injury by running around naked swinging your giant celery tinctured junk all over the place.

“I'm getting to old for this.” He sighs reaching over a small pile of rubble of what looks like it could be a shirt. His back aches as he snatches up the shredded cotton remnant. Why on earth did he even bother doing this? It wasn't like any f it was salvageable. Maybe it had just become a kind of grounding ritual. Like reclaiming all the little pieces of who his was before helped him to remember the man he was – rather than the monster he became.

It was when Bruce lifted up a shredded bit of shirt sleeve that he noticed something. There, covered in dust was a small filthy kitten that looks so tiny it couldn't have been more than a few days old. Worse still about this discovery was how still the little thing was. Bruce felt like a knife had been plunged into his heart. It was so little, so alone and maybe even dead. He had done this, the other guy loved animals but its too hard to keep an eye out for one so minuscule and accidents do happen.

 

Bruce reached down and gently brushed a finger down the small kittens back. To his relief the little creature began to stir, lifting its time heart-shaped face and blinking a pair of big jade green eyes.

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 2 Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An: I know cats are color blind but....fuckin magic so..screw the rules.

With a single utterance from the goddess, the world descended and spun into an endless abyss. For a single terrifying moment-, he was sure that Hela had lied and simply tossed him into some pitch-black crossroad of the underworld. Left to decay for the remainder of his pathetic existence.  
  
 He would not have put it past her.  
  
 A small part of him wondered if that was exactly what he deserved, even with Frigga's pleading for him. Perhaps this was what was best for everyone.  
  
 This, after all -was what he had tried to supply them all those years ago. Looking back on it, despite how proud Loki seemed to everyone he knew in his heart of hearts… he did not slip that day on the bridge, he let go.   
  
_“I could have done it father! For you!”_  
 _“No Loki...”_  
  
Allowing himself fall into the void was far to simple, wasn't there suppose to be regret before giving up? Some sort of final pull of life to try? To question yourself and fight back against the pain?  
  
There hadn't been, Loki was even sure that for a brief moment he actually smiled before relaxing his fingers and letting the void take him.   
  
There were times, in the nights he spent beaten in Thanos' cells … that he would dream of that moment. In those dreams, he swore he saw a brief glimmer of fear in the all fathers eye. That Odin knew what he was about to do and for the first time - it was something even the great King of Asgard had no power to halt.

Loki had found it so distasteful that he could not even die correctly. Not  even a second time!  Some sick sort of justice this was, just when he thought he might make restitution- to have it torn from him. He wished that all the stories of the afterlife had been false,  there was no reward no fiery depth or damnation. All the fallen prince longed for...was nothing.  To feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, to be – Nothing.  
  
Now he was to be flung into another life, in a body not his own all because he had to “learn a lesson?” Such a farce that seemed, what could he possibly learn that would undo what he was.   
  
One thing was he was no longer dead, because if he was dead this should not hurt so much. Every inch of his body felt battered and weak, his head ached and the air tasted stale with every shuddering breath. Sounds were too loud and the ground rumbled beneath him. Loki did not want to hazard opening his eyes, in what - so far seemed like a far too inhospitable place.  Maybe Hela had given him the life of a lowly servant on some distant world; it would certainly explain why he was coiled on his belly in the dirt.   
  
Wasn't that an image that the nine realms could all have a good laugh at? Loki the would be king! Prone to the territory like all those he sought to subjugate. Whipped and beaten – as if he never knew such a sensation.  
  
 Little did they know he had tasted that fate at the hands of Thanos’  ruthless warden - 'The Other'. Nonetheless, the idea of the once shining false prince left to tatters would no doubt bring a smile to those he had wronged in life.   
  
Loki didn't want to admit how bitter those thoughts tasted, how being brought so low once again would surely ruin him. As if he needed to feel more like a worthless tool to be tossed to the wind.  
  
 He feared opening his eyes and seeing nothing but metal bars and chains, perhaps a cattle iron in the distance that would kiss his tender skin. 

That notion brought with it another more horrendous worry, his skin, she wouldn't would she? So treacherous and disturbing the thought alone sent a shiver through him, what if it was ...like them, the deep bruised blue of the Jotnar. Loki didn't think he could stand that, the idea of it made him want to die all over again. If he should be so humiliated, he would far rather remain in the underworld to burn. Such a eternity filled with bodily torture would be a far sight keener than to have to look into garnet eyes reflecting back at him. Looking at the monster he truly he was.    
  
 _I can't possibly hide forever, I am no coward and whatever it is that that ghastly wench has seen fit for my recompense- I shall face it head on._ He thought, working to muster up the courage to see his new lot in life.

When Loki finally does get the nerve to peer out at his surroundings, the world is shrouded in a gray veil. Blinking down at the soiled ground he feels...small?  The darkness seems to press into his very soul and a shiver runs through him.   
  
Small, insignificant...the void.    
  
His heart begins to hammer against his rib cage with sudden unbearable fear. No this isn't the void; it's too different it’s not the same encompassing darkness and endless hopelessness. A small voice in his subconscious seems to whisper **' What if it's worse.'** What could have possibly been worse? Surely there was nothing in all the nine that could compare to the frigid interminable nothingness.  
  
Ah, but that was before the mad titan wasn't it? Loki chose not to think on that time for fear he could answer his own anxiety to say **' yes…there is something worse.'** It was far easier to believe that being left in the vast emptiness of space was the worst thing one could face. Because if that was the worst thing than perhaps everything else was simply a nightmare, he could sweep away and forget.   
  
Loki would have vomited had there been anything in his stomach to give. Instead, his gut just clenched with a painful reminder to its emptiness. Squeezing his eyes shut to the filthy world, Loki felt helpless and sick- he hates every moment of it.  
  
 _I am a god...how dare she how dare she!_

His stomach roils and head fills with fog. It vaguely reminds him of days so far in the past, being a child so afflicted in the Asgardian summers. How his mother would sit at his bedside and press a damp cloth to his forehead and cheeks. Loki hated himself for wanting to cry out for such comfort again. He'd never feel that again because he was no child and Frigga was gone. Gone because of him and no matter what she had told him it was his fault.  
  
Suddenly, the world brightens beyond his closed lids and something is touching him. A massive hand cradles his body, the sheer size difference makes him snap open his eyes and let out a sound of surprise.   
  
“Meow.” _What. In. the. nine!_    “Meow!”   _Oh that bitch...that brimstone drenched billgnipe's whore!_

* * *

“Hey its ok, it's ok little...” Bruce turned the little kit over “Boy. Okay little guy your gonna be fine.” Trying his best to sound comforting as he bundled the tiny animal up in what was left of his shirt. He needed to find the others but there was no way he could leave the helpless little creature in this rubble. The thought of the rest of this little ones litter somewhere below the debris made him ill. Some might point out that this was just a stray cat and honestly, Bruce shouldn't feel that bad. They didn't know Bruce Banner then – king of shouldering the blame. The idea that the other guy might have crashed through here and orphaned a kitten was enough to make the grown man weep if he hadn't been as damn tired as it was.   
  
Bruce stumbled out of the what was left of the old warehouse. “Yeah all I need now is to step on a piece of glass and go green again.” He mumbled in annoyance.   
  
The kitten squirmed against his chest and mewled loudly in protest. “Sorry little guy I know this is a bit of a bumpy ride but lets just say I've had a long day.”   
  
Thankfully, he spotted some familiar faces in the distance and jogged over to meet them. All in all the damage wasn't too bad, for a code green anyway. It looked as if the other guy had a good time with the doom bots clinking them together like tinker toys and tossing them into the bay. A few of the downed electronic creatures sizzled and sparked from where they landed before giving up the ghost.   
  
“Hey guys.”  
  
“Beno nachos Bruce!” Barton crowed from his perch on top of one of the shield vans, the archer looked more like he was soaking up the sun on a fair Saturday morning rather than having just shot down some deranged robotic monsters. On the other hand, maybe for Clint that was exactly what made it such a good day.  
  
Banner just shook his head. “I believe you mean Buenas noches, which actually means good night and its morning so...it would be Buenas dias.”  
  
Clint spun an arrow between his fingers with a loud groan. “Ugggh! Frito-Frittata I don't care and I just want taco bell and a beer, maybe to be in my underpants laying on the roof enjoying  the sunshine.”  
  


Tony, who had been standing near by started to laugh, “If you're gonna hit the bell then you were right the first time Hawkass. Cause you will need Beno before them nachos.”  
  
The good doctor found himself shaking his head at the exchange. To think, these were earth’s mightiest heroes...making fart jokes. Like many times before Bruce wondered how exactly, this was his life. He'd never been a very social sort – always preferring to read or spend time alone. “Tony, do you think you could have Jarvis scan that building I just came out of…or what’s left of it for any signs of life?”  
  
Stark turned to his friend, the jovial expression draining from his face. “Life signs...Bruce why? Also what’s that you got there?” Tony desperately didn't want to think of the fall out if the hulk had smashed into a building housing squatters or teenage runaways. God knows what that would do to Bruce. His sweet science bro had such a squishy little heart and tended to hold onto things he had no control over. Sometimes the big guy just got out of hand and there was some collateral damage. He supposed Bruce felt less bad now about a few totaled cars or busted down walls – still though, any loss of a living thing tended to send the poor man into hiding for weeks. They all worried a lot about Bruce, considering what he had said that day on the Triskelion.   
  
Thankfully, Tony need not worry about human shaped stains in the concrete.   
  
“This” Banner said lifting the little bundle away from his chest. “Is actually why I'm asking.” Unfolding the shirt to show the scruffy little ball of dusty fur.  The kitten mewled pathetically in his hands.   
  
“J, hit up sat inferred tell me what you find.” If there was anything in that crumbled mess formerly known as a warehouse wing – JARVIS would be able to find it. For Bruce's sake however, Tony hoped there wasn't. In the meantime – Stark took a look at the mangy little creature. “Don't let Steve see this or…”  
  
“Don't let me see what?”   
  
The jig was officially up. “He's right behind me...awesome...just …yep” Tony threw up his hands and turned away. He already knew how this was going to go. Steve with his soft heart and wholesome blue eyes. He was going to take one look at that little beast and it was going to be over. Tony could already smell the litter boxes in his future.

* * *

 Meanwhile, Loki was not at all a excited about his second chance at life.   
  
_A cat! A Bloody Cat!  I should scratch out her eyes!  How in the nine am I suppose to do anything as a helpless infant feline! Oh, yes._  
 _I can practically hear that black hearted witch cackling away from hel!  'Oh look at Loki an his fuzzy little tail!'  HOW DARE SHE!_  
  
Oh but the hits just kept on rolling when the fallen prince realized just were he was and whom had saved him. This was bad, it was worse than bad, he was surrounded by the very people who had captured him and shipped him off to Odin muzzled and in chains.   
  
_If one of them should figure out whom I am...no no, impossible. Their puny mortal minds couldn't possibly  fathom this sort of magic. I will simply have to remain calm and wait for the first opportunity to liberate myself._  
  
Unfortunately, as he was carried off and then presented to even more of Midgard's champions – the window of opportunity seemed to be getting smaller and smaller.

* * *

It was odd to see a man Steve's size cooing like a schoolgirl over a tiny kitten, but if you asked Tony…it was wildly sexy.   
  
The inventor was already making mental images of a very shirtless Cap calendar in which each month was another baby animal. Maybe Mr. July down on the farm in some low cut Levis with a calf over his shoulders…glistening in the summer sun.  
  
“He's a talkative little fella huh?” Steve said in a light childish voice, usually reserved for Peter, while holding the kitten up. “Yeah you are.”   
  
Natasha smacked the back of Tony’s head. “Wake up you’re drooling.”  
  
“What…hm? Yeah…um, we'll drop it off at a vet and I'll make a nice donation to the ASPCA. Arms of the angels ...all that wonderful sad stuff. Now!” Tony clapped his hands. “Lets put that flea ridden little joy in a box and go because I am in desperate need of a shower and a burger...in whatever order or at once. Who knows?”   
  
“Tony…” Oh and there was the face.  Steve holding that little ratty,  possibly lice infested, fuzz ball and Bruce looking all pathetic,  reaching over to scratch it behind the ear. The pair of them made an all-together pitiable sight.  
  
“NO.”   
  
“Sweetheart…” Steve looked down at the kitten “He’s just a little guy; you know what happens to runts. I know how it feels to get counted out because of your size.”   
  
Barton…that bastard started laughing. “He’s got you tin-man. Might as well give up!”  
  
“I always wanted to have a cat growing up but I couldn’t cause of my allergies.” Steve commented with a slight pout gracing those soft plush lips that Tony was already a well-versed victim to. Damnit.    
  
Even Bruce had to smirk, “laying it on a little thick huh Steve?” he muttered to the Captain. 

Oh yeah, Steve was painting on the sympathy in great big layers because he never asked Tony for anything and really this would be good for the team. A team pet, cats reduced stress and were good with kids. Steve had been worried about Peter not having much social interaction and a little furry friend in the tower might be just the thing. It was perfect when you thought about it; he just needed Tony to think about it.   
  
Natasha smiled softly and draped herself against Stark's armor, “Just say yes. It's easier to lay back, accept that this is happening, than fight back and lose.   
  
“Steve...sugar, honey, light of my life. You know how I feel about those clawed demons. I told you about that huge fluffy monster that Obi had when I was a kid. That damn thing hated me and pissed on everything out of spite. Alternatively, what if it attacks Peter! It could bite or scratch him you know!”  
  
“Or steal his soul with its fuzzy wittle face! OooOOOOOoooOOO!” Barton interjected laughing and wiggling his fingers.   
  
Tony glared at the archer. “shut your yap Hawkass!”   
  
Natasha rolled her eyes at the exchange and plucked the tiny kitten from Steve's grasp. The kitten immediately hissed as she held him up by the scruff and tried to take a swipe at her. The assassin had to admit she was impressed that the tiny thing had almost got her with it's minuscule claws. “We're bringing him home Stark.” She stated simply before passing the kitten back off to Bruce. “You like taking in strays remember.” 

* * *

The trip back to the tower wasn't a long one at least.   
  
Not that it made Loki feel any better about the situation. Thus far, it didn't seem like the humans suspected anything was amiss. Then again, he shouldn't have thought that they would. Call it paranoia but he wasn't exactly in fighting form. He hated more than anything how vulnerable this made him feel.   
  
_“This is worse than mortality... my bones are a quills width and my life a mere blip in relation to these blasted humans.”_   
  
He had been passed off once again to the Captain who seemed to feel the need to pet and scratch him at every sound. Not that all of the soldiers ministrations were wholly unwelcome. Loki had been loathed to admit that that one spot behind his left ear felt exceptional when scratched. So if the star spangled idiot wished to indulge then so be it.  Additionally, if he played along with these fools he could expect nothing less the best protections and accommodation.  
  
Loki was tempted to test his new form, mewling pathetically in the Captain's arms.   
  
As predicted the blonde fussed over him like a worried mother.   
  
_“I could get used to this indeed.”_

__


	4. With the warning

Once the group had returned and began to settle, Bruce had considered taking the cat back to his floor. Maybe finding and empty box and some blankets to be the little boy’s temporary home until he had a chance to place a few orders with the group fund Tony had so generously made available to the Towers inhabitants.

 

That plan fell by the wayside quickly and Steve looked so longingly at the little fellow. Bruce considered maybe the kitten would be better off with them. After all, Steve and Tony had a child now and what kid wouldn't love growing up with a pet?

 

Even so, part of the Doctor felt a little sad handing the bundle off. “I think I’m going to go have a shower, I'm really beat.”

 

Tony understood of course but looked wearily at Steve with the kitten again. “Sure Brucy Buns. I know you need to soak your man pelt after a hard day.” he said waving his friend off. As soon as Bruce was out of ear shot Tony put his foot down.

 

“That thing is not coming in the penthouse Steve, look honey bunny. I am sorry about this, I really am but who knows what parasites it has! You know Petey puts every damn thing in his mouth these days!”

 

Thankfully, before the discussion could devolve into to Tony having JARVIS pull up every known pathogen one could contract from a feline, Natasha steeped in.

 

She snatched up the little kitten and headed of to the elevator with out as much as a by your leave. Steve may have been disappointed but she was sure he would get over it. Moreover, it was clearly her turn with the little cutey.

* * *

  
She _know...look at her staring. That look in her eyes. This is it..._

 

Loki was trembling as he found himself alone with the Widow. Her piercing peridot gaze seeming to travel through the depth of his soul. If there was going to be a human that picked up on any subtle differences between himself and any run-of-the-mill house cat, it would be her.

 

“Mauw...”

 

“Hello little boy. Don't worry; auntie tashka will make sure you are nice and clean. Safe from the silly boys!”

 

_Bloody hell...._

 

She just kept talking, baby talk in some weird language that didn't even understand. Clearly the all-speak in this form only served for English Somehow this just felt wrong, this had been one of the few living beings smart enough to out wit him and she was...playing with his paws and muttering something about 'toe beans'. _What in the nine are toe beans?_

 

The ride in the lift to her floor didn't feel like a long trip, or maybe he was just distracted by the woman's indecent babbling over him. On the one hand, Loki never had been fawned over and the attention felt...dared he admit – nice. On the other, it was insulting to be treated like a child.

 

Humans however had a habit of treating small creatures like their own children, or so he was beginning to realize. Speaking of children, Loki could have sworn he heard Stark conversing with the good Captain concerning their spawn. When had that occurred?

 

Last, the trickster had checked mortals where not capable of producing an heir from any not from the fairer sex. This seemed so pedestrian when compared to the various realms Loki had seen in his considerably long life.

 

Perhaps they had taken in an orphan then, something about that made Loki wrinkle his nose. Al though instead of a look of distaste it must have just been cute because the widow was stroking the bridge of his nose. That felt rather nice honestly.

 

“Ok little one, I'm going to get you some water because I’m sure you’re thirsty. Then I'm going to get cleaned up and then it will be your turn.” she said pulling out a bowl and filling it with water before tossing a cushion on the floor and depositing him next to the bowl.

 

After that the redhead disappeared somewhere into the large living quarters. Giving Loki the perfect opportunity to have a look at his surrounding.

* * *

  
Loki sniffed at the water dish, it seemed clean enough for his tastes. Though not nearly as sweet and pour as the springs in Asgard. He supposed now wasn't the time to think on the past however. He would likely never return to the golden realm, at least not in this life.   
  
Considering Hela's challenge – Loki was highly doubtful he'd see it in the next.

 

What could one do when reduced to a life so small and pathetic? Reduced to lapping up water from a bowl ...an animal.

 

Looking into his rippled reflection, Loki noticed his eyes were mostly the same and of course the covering of jet-black fluff. Overall, he had to admit he made a passably cute little urchin. Some good that would do him in reclaiming the life he'd lost.

 

Even so, there was no time to wallow in pity when the mortal woman could return at any moment. It was best to get the lay of the land now whilst he had freedom to do so.

 

The apartment was adequate, it seemed to hold all the amenities that the mortals held dear. Expanses of steel and glass, the large black box on the wall that produced the moving pictures. Televisions, if he remembered correctly. Loki had not exactly had time to peruse Midgardian culture the last time he was here and the only other length visit to this realm had been long before the days of indoor plum and electrical lights.

 

He sighs regretfully, those where the days when the foolish hairy apes that humans were worshiped him. They worshiped Thor as well but...that was an oversight obviously.

 

Wandering around the apartment and sniffing at the furnishing his now extremely keen nose was able to discern two unique scents. One warm and earthy with a hint of sweet floral- the Widow. The other was more pine and cold with something a bit spicy in the notes below – A man?

 

Therefore, someone else frequented these rooms but was obviously not here now. Loki doubted very much that it was anyone he'd meet previously or surly they would have joined her on their return. Someone new then?

 

Not that it mattered much, provided this mystery human did not take exception to his presence.

 

“There you are! Did you have fun exploring little boy?”

 

Loki found himself lifted up from the floor. “EYOOWW” _Unhand me woman!!!_

 

“It's ok don't be scared, just a quick bath and you will feel much better I promise.” She said carrying him into a large bathing chamber. It was warm and smelled of flowers.

 

Loki noticed that the woman was clad only in a thin black silk robe, just barely tied shut. Stilling in her hands if the once noble could blush in this form he would have.

 

“Meeew” _Don't you know any modestly!_

 

Natasha had already filed the bathroom sink and asked Jarvis which of her shampoos or shower gels might be safe enough to use. Apparently, most of them were natural and gentle, provided she minded the kitten’s eyes.

 

She looked and the scruffy little cat and selected an almond and honey gel. “Ok, I know you won't like this but trust me it's for the best.”

 

Loki eyed the full sink and slapped at the water with his paw. So she meant to bathe him...how demeaning. Still he did reek and there was dirt all over him. Loki had always been one to keep himself impeccably clean – unlike Thor, the great pig he was liked to get coated in grime head to foot when they were children.

 

Natasha was surprised when the kitten didn't protest being picked up and placed in the lukewarm water. He stood calmly and eve shut his eyes allowing her to later the soap on his tiny limbs. “Look at you, such a good boy.”

 

“Mauw” _Yes...tell me how wonderful I am for doing nothing. This must be how Thor feels… “oh Thor, look how you breathe and manage not to die. So stunning.'_

* * *

 

After his bath, Loki stretched out on a soft pillow. He kneaded at the plush surface before turning around several times before laying down. It didn't take long before he began to drift off to sleep.

 

While Loki enjoyed pleasant dreams another member of the tower arrived seeking his own night of peace, with hope – at the side of a red haired assassin.

 

 

James Barnes dropped his tactical gear on the living room sofa and kicked off his boots. “Taska?” he called out as he walked through the house. Of course he knew she was there, having been stopped by Barton on the way up and told about their glorious day of robotic jellyfish. James was a little jealous he had been stuck doing recon for two days with some SHIELD recruits.

 

All he wanted right now was a hot shower a hot woman and a cold beer. In whatever order that came in. Unfortunately, something was amiss in his perfect sanctuary...there was something on his pillow.

 

“The hell...” Eyeing the little ball of black fur currently curled up on his side of the bed. This was a problem. “yeah no...” Barnes plucked up the little kitten with his metal hand with the purpose of placing the creature on the floor.

 

Loki did not take having his nap interrupted lightly. Meowing and hissing at the cold metallic digits lifting him up by the scruff. _“Unhand me you one armed ape! I AM A GOD!”_  
  
Mauuoooowwww!  


Of course Natasha would hear this and emerge from the bathroom to glare at the super soldier who was holding up the feisty fuzz-ball.

 

“Yasha ….what are you doing! You're scaring him!” 

 

Barnes looked over at the as the small kitten was currently gnawing on his tactical glove and making demonic little noises. “Scaring him? He. Was in my spot.”

 

The assassin rolled her eyes and took the kitten, “Grow up. He's just a baby.” She said cuddling the little one close.

 

Loki meanwhile milked his predicament, mewling and crying as if Big Bad Barnes had been killing him. This of course was working extremely well as Natasha was not shy about cuddling and coddeling him.

 

“You can sleep on the couch tonight.”  
  
“What....Wha...But it...”  
  
“mewww...” _Oh yes I'm so afraid poor tiny little me, I think I have whiplash...perhaps a pinched nerve.._ “Meeeeeewww”   
  
Natasha glared and pointed, there wasn't going to be any winning this. “Couch. Now.” 

* * *

  
**Elsewhere in the Tower.**

 

Bruce settled onto the end of his bed, freshly showered and feeling a touch more human than before, and listened to the quiet around him.

 

Today had been a long day for everyone, speaking of everyone.. “Jarvis?”  
  
“Yes David, how may I help you?” for some reason Jarvis had taken a liking to using Bruce's middle name in private. Once when he asked the AI why, Jarvis had said it seemed warmer, more personal. Bruce had just smiled and said that was alright then. Honestly it kind of nice, the only other person who had ever called him David was his mother and his Aunt. It had been their father's name and they claimed to see so much of the kind man in him.   
  
“How is everyone?” Bruce had to ask because too many of theme liked to play it tough in the field and were not above hind an injury. Tony was especially guilty of this offense on numerous occasions.

 

“Philip and Clinton seem to be fine, Sir is in the kitchen and Steven is giving little Peter a bath at the moment. It would appear that Natasha has introduced James to the newest addition to the Tower.”  
  
“Oh? I didn't know he was back. Hopefully that when well. He doesn't strike me as a cat person.” Bruce said taking his towel back to the bathroom after giving his hair one last tumble through.

 

Jarvis hummed softly. “Yes, I think you may be correct. Thor has also returned from his trip off realm, he is in the common area...” There was a long pause as if Jarvis wanted to say more.   
  
Bruce had noticed this habit, Jarvis was programmed to keep certain things private but there were times with the AI thought better of those orders, and while he would never directly say anything he would always say very leading statements. This applied mostly to Tony, however, the habit had begun to branch out to the rest of the team over time.

 

“Thor...must be hard for him right now.” Bruce tugged on a shirt and pair of lounge pants. They all knew what had happened in Asgard, Thor losing his mother, then Loki. Not that they had any love for the later but still. Family is family even if they are bat shit insane world conquerors.

 

“A companion for Mr Odinson, at present, would not go remiss.” The Ai said, Jarvis, mother hen that he was – had obviously seen something wrong.

 

And Bruce did ask. “Thanks Jarvis, I think maybe I'll head upstairs and say hello.”  
  
“No, Thank you David.”  
  


 


	5. Chapter 4 to help me see myself clearer

 

Bruce made his way down to the common room, a familiar trail from the elevators and into the inset seating area. It was funny how quickly the tower began to feel like home. Home, such a strange word for Bruce, it had been such a far away concept to the former runaway, really that's what Bruce's life had chalked up to be- an orphan and a runaway. A man who laid his head down in a different city every week, month at the most. A vagabond at times and a hermit at others, never really know what a home was since the accident.

 

Then coming here and joining this make shift family, it had not felt real. Yet here he was, day in and day out having dinner around a table or laughing in Tony's workshop. Days spent wandering around the little tucked away shops of china town with Natasha or playing _'Mr. Holder of things'_ while Pepper walked around the fancy shopping district. Things felt so domestic and it felt good, it reminded Bruce of living with his aunt and cousin as a young boy, all the simple things like washing dishes after a meal while someone else dried. Then there was the trust, something Bruce hadn't felt himself worthy of having.

 

Steve and Tony trusted him to take little Peter in the evenings so the couple could have some one on one time. In those moments, Bruce often felt a calm completeness with it all. Even so, in all those warm feelings there was still a sliver of cold. Still that little something that he felt guilty for missing. Sure, he had friends- maybe even family if you squint, but he missed feeling love for someone, to care for someone other than himself.

 

Bruce felt so selfish for feeling that way, for wanting anything more than what he had already been so blessed to be given.

 

Entering the dark and uncharacteristically gloomy common area Bruce was once again reminded of why he shouldn't want so much, considering what others had lost.

 

Thor sat alone on the big leather sofa looking out over the city skyline as afternoon gave way to evening. A far away look drifted over the mans usually strong features. Something about seeing that kind of look on a man who was always smiling felt...wrong. Even the thunderers posture was meeker than normal. Sitting with slumped shoulders and lank hands hanging between his knees.

 

“Thor.”

 

Looking up it wasn't hard for Bruce to notice the red-rimmed blue eyes that were accented in heavy bags. “Good evening Bruce, I hear that today there was a mighty battle. I am sorry that I missed it.”  
  
Bruce shrugged his shoulders, “I'm not sure if I would call it mighty or not, there was a skirmish if anything. Doom, ya know how he is with his over compensating with robots. It was jelly fish this time.”  
  
“Fish of jelly? This does not sound very formidable my friend.”

 

“Oh, not actual jelly it’s...never mind it's not important actually. How are thinks with you?” Maybe that was a dumb question. They all knew about what happened with Thor's mother and brother; the fiasco in London had been all over the news.

 

The larger man turned away looking stricken “Things have been, difficult. The loss of mother has weighed heavily on my father, and I think perhaps Loki's death likewise. I feel remiss in my misgivings of Loki in the end. Troubled as he may have been, guilty as he surely was...he had honor, he gave his life to protect me I suspect...for our mother. I know what you and the others may think of him, but Loki was indeed my brother, the difference in our blood mattered not to me.”

 

Bruce sat down and listened, he was good at listening, even if he didn't have pearls of wisdom to share in a moment of crisis. He could listen all night if that's what Thor needed from him.

 

“Have you ever known such grief Bruce?”

 

That was a loaded question, had Bruce known grief? “Yes...when I was young my mother died. She was…” _say it...its true just say it._ “She was murdered by my father.”

 

Silence pressed around them for a moment, it wasn't the same and yet... “Thank you for sharing this with me Bruce, I know that friend Tony also lost his family in youth, however I felt hesitant to speak with him on the matter.”

 

For once, it seemed Thor was actually thinking before he spoke, everyone was growing. It was strange to think back on some of the stories Jane told about the man who used to walk around half-naked throwing kitchenware.

 

“Yeah, it's not a great idea to talk to Tony about his parents.” Honestly, that was the worst idea, the only thing more heinous would be to mention it with Barnes in earshot then it was just pitiful puppy eyes on the later. “It gets better over time, I still miss my mom from time to time, and there are still little things I remember about her. Her kindness, she loved to bake I remember the house always smelled like fresh bread and cookies.”

 

“My mother was fond of the gardens.” Thor began, a soft smile returning to his features, “She would spend hours walking through the vast palace gardens. When we were mere children, she would often carry Loki when he was young and ill. It was something the two of them shared, where I was more my fathers son.”

 

“You brother, the way talk about him. He sounds really different.” Though Bruce supposed that where family was concerned people were often short sighted.

 

“Aye, Loki had once been a happy child. While it is true that he enjoyed a good jest.” Thor laughed a moment in thought, “He stabbed me quiet a few times, sneaky as he was.”  
  


Bruce wouldn't call stabbing ones siblings a joke but...to each their own. “I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to see him in a better light.”

 

“In the end...in the end he was as I remember, I shall cherish that last day with him. Loki fought by my said and sacrificed himself, not for my father or for accolades, he just did. In the end, it was not a mad man who died but my brother. I held my little brother in my arms as he died. I shall never forget the peace that finally came to his eyes...Bruce...I know what Loki did was wrong...but…” The thunderer choked on his words, eyes growing damp with every word.

 

“It's ok to miss him.” Bruce said placing a gentle hand on the larger mans shoulder. “Loki made a mistake here, but that doesn't erase the years he spent with you. He was your brother and you loved him. No one will blame you for morning his loss.”

 

Bruce wasn't expecting an arm full of sobbing Asgardian but that's what he got. So Bruce sat awkwardly patting the large heaving back until the tears subsided. Thor thanking him for being a wonderful 'shield brother' before taking his leave for the night.

* * *

 

Morning conversation was far less taxing. The topic was what to name the towers newest resident. Everyone seemed to have an idea they were more than happy to share of course, none of which Loki is on board with.

 

_I'll scratch someones eyes out if they dub me sprinkles... “_ MAUUUWWW”

 

“I think he likes it.” Steve pointed out, his name choice of 'sprinkles' along with other assorted confections such as: Coco, muffin, brownie, and cookie. 

 

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, “What is it with you and carbs? No cute names, I am here by banning cute names. As far as I'm concerned I'm calling it freeloader.”

 

“Sounds about right.” Bucky grumbled receiving an elbow in the ribs from the red head next to him. It wasn't as if Natasha's picks had gone over well either. Everyone agreed calling it something Russian that no one could pronounce but her was not going to happen. 

 

Thor was late to the naming ceremony, wondering into the common room and seeing the cat perched in the center of the coffee table. He paused for a moment and reached out to the tiny feline.

 

“HISSSS” _Away from me you big oaf I'm like this all because of you!_ Loki took a swipe and tipped over. 

 

Thor sniffled and picked up the very angry kitten. “He has much spirit.” Everyone sat staring as the big man fought back tears. “His eyes, they are the same shade of my brothers. He was such such a sweet child, I regret what the years made of him. I remember him so small in our youth, I remember the day mother first allowed me the joy to hold him.”  
  
Everyone grew quiet, even if Loki hadn't been their favorite person they cared about Thor. Family was family and their friend had lost so much recently.

 

The little kitten even grew still.

 

_How dare you speak such kindness now... “_ mew”  _It isn't if it will do us any good...sentimental lout you are. I remember you dragging me about the palace and foolish child I was idolizing you. Then all you wanted was adventure and your stupid friends. You forgot about me._

 

Bruce smiled watching the kitten nudge Thor's chest and mewl. That was honestly as affectionate as he had seen the little guy be since they found him. “You know...and I'm just throwing this out there. Why don't we call him Loki.”

 

“I think that's a great idea.” Natasha agrees scratching the kit behind the ears.

 

Tony however was less than enthusiastic. “Look I get why, and trust me when I say thundergames I am sorry for your loss. But I that guy threw me out of a window.”

 

Barnes the snot he was threw in his two cents to say he liked the name. Clint took Tony's side but with Steve on the feel good bandwagon – majority rules.

 

“My dearest friends...you have no idea what such a tribute means to me. I will take heart in my trip back to Asgard knowing that in name my brother may still live.” Thor said lifting up the little kitten. “And you little one. You are named after the most clever, mischievous and brave man that I had the fortune to call brother. Do his memory a service.”

 

Loki found himself alone at last, finding a spot of warmth before one of the large windows. Curling up in a tight little ball he had much to consider. For one, the actions of his not-brother. The kindly words that Thor had spoken on his behalf were confusing. How could the elder even find it in himself to say such things, after everything he claimed Loki guilty of. After everything he truly was guilty of.

 

The image of the that day in Asgard's prisons came to mind. _**“You might want to take the stairs to the left.”**_

 

_Still, still he morns for me, still he remembers me with fondness. I am little more than a murderer and a thief. I stole his joy I stole my own in flight of pettiness._

 

It hurt to see Thor cry for him. It hurt because he didn't think he would. Even now thinking of how broken his once strong brother looked. How his shoulders seemed to fall and his voice to shake. All for the losses he had suffered. Losing Frigga had been a blow enough. To lose someone else and be left alone with Odin, and what of the old man. Was he too pained by more that the loss of the woman he loved, but all the son he claimed to once love? 

 

Loki wanted to believe that Odin too felt nothing, but if he was wrong about Thor? Perhaps even Asgard's King felt some touch of regret. Thinking back to when they were children, how Father held their hands as they walked through the gardens. How he would take Loki into the library and read to him from the huge histories. Tales of valor and might, colorful pictures of battles and beasts. 

 

_He loved me once..didn't he?_

 

Glancing around the room, Loki saw photos on the wall of the Captian and Stark with a small child. The little boy on their shoulders, laughing in the sunshine.

 

_We were like that once..weren't we. Why did I forget that?_

 

Loki thought of his mother, of her gentle hands braiding his brothers hair. He thought of the grand dinners in the palace and when mother would tell them to clean their plates, father quietly sliding napkins to the boys to hide the greens they rather not eat. It hadn't always been bad, perhaps as he grew up and changed is when things drifted away. He wasn't like Thor, now he knew why.

 

“ __ **You are my son. I only wanted to protect you from the truth.”  
  
“He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different.”**

 

_Was I wrong?_

 

Loki hadn't realized his sounds of distress while thinking. Soon he felt a hand on his back and glance up at a pair of kind hazel eyes.

 

“Hey whats wrong Loki, come here little guy.” Bruce gently lifted the kitten holding it to his chest. “Are you lonely? It's okay. I understand how that feels. You're okay now.”

 

Loki wanted to protest such coddling, but the soft touches felt nice. And yes perhaps the mortal was right. He was Lonely, he had spent so much of his life alone by choice. A forced isolation that now seems so pointless. What good had it done? Who had he truly punished other than himself? So for now, just this once, he would press into the warmth if only to indulge in a comfort he often pushed away. Perhaps there was something to this new life.

 

 

 


	6. I never ment to start a fire.

The time had come, the moment of truth. They stood at a precipice that could make or break them.   
Steve wanted to introduce the kitten to Peter.   
  
“Absolutely not, that thing could have rabies or something!” Tony was clear about not exposing his child to a possibly dangerous creature. You would think the cat was a 200 pound wild best from the wilds and not a 12 ounce mewling ball of fuzz.   
  
“It doesn't have rabies. If Loki had rabies then Bruce would have found it in his first diagnostic scan. The cat is healthy...small but healthy”   
  
Tony wasn't listening of course. He was at present having Jarvis pull up any and all information about animal attacks on children. “Look at this! See look, do you genuinely want our son to lose an eye? It sounds like you do Steve. You want Petey pie to join the one eyed wonder club with Tricky Nicky and Thor's Pops? I don't think Oshkosh makes tiny, little eye patches Steve!”   
  
“Sweetheart.” Steve followed the storming billionaire through the penthouse and down to the common room. “Peter doesn't have much interaction with other kids. You won't allow me schedule a play date with the Richards.”   
  
Stark turned and looked aghast. “There is a reason for that! Reed Richards is a know-it-all joke who thinks his freaky stretch Armstrong act is useful! Oooo Rubberband man...I'm unimpressed. You know I went to MIT with that chode? He's unbearable and I don't want any of that weirdness rubbing off on my kid!”   
  
“Peter needs a friend; he needs to learn to interact with someone who isn't an adult. You know animals are good for a child.” Steve didn't want to have to do this but if he had to play dirty he was adequately prepared to play dirty to win. This was for Peter's well being. “You know I always wanted a pet growing up, but I couldn't have one because I was so sick and me and Ma were too poor to feed ourselves much less a pet.”   
  
“You...you can't play that card again Steven Rogers No no no! The last time you brought home a stray we got stuck with that weirdo!” Tony pointed over at Barnes who sat at the breakfast bar grading a bowl of Cheerios like his life depended on it.   
  
James looked up at his direct mention and flipped a metal middle finger at the billionaire.   
  
“See! We barely have him house trained and he isn't child friendly. You only get one Steve! You only get one!” 

**Meanwhile**

Loki stretched out in was now becoming his favorite sunny spot in the tower. It was strangest thing, since becoming a feline Loki couldn't get enough sunlight. He had usually been one to hate sunny days and the heat of summer as a youth. Now of course that made sense, however, considering his immediate future – this would likely become a daily ritual. After all, as a cat one had a few responsibilities. It was challenging to figure out what he could do to somehow win back his very soul in this form. Taking naps in the sun and pooping in sad hardly seemed a Gods work.  
  
The feline once trickster looked over to observe one of the other inhabitants of the tower. Dr. Banner – reading in a adjacent chair. Finding himself consumed with the conversation Banner had with Thor. Moreover, how kind the man was to him, how all of the avengers have behaved toward his not-brother concerning his demise. There was so much he didn't understand. For everything he had done in life, it seemed he was worth morning.   
  
That caused a strange ache to take up residence in his chest.   
  
So far he has learned there was much more to these mortals than he had once considered. They had hoped and dreams and intricate personal lives. It was once easy to think of others as his lesser when he knew nothing about them. The sad fact was that these mortals had a more worthy existence than he ever had. Loki sat there with a dark realize he never really had personal connections in life.  
  
Loki never had friends or lovers. Having forced everyone away who even tried to befriend them because he assumed they would never understand. In the present circumstances as he sits toying with a few threads of carpet in his claws, he wonders if his life could have been different. If he had tried a little harder to reach out or maybe let go of his anger, could he have had what these mortal heroes had?   
  
It stabbed through his heart to think that maybe heritage alone would make that impossible. Who among those on Asgard would have had him knowing what he was?   
  
Loki lowered his chin to his folded paws with a soft mewl.

___

 

Steve had won his argument, not that there was any chance he would have lost, Tony was more bark than bite. He had left Peter in Steve's care with an over dramatic sigh and promise to 'drop kick a cat' if the beast so much as scratched a hair on his babies head.   
  
Peter had been playing with his blocks when his papa appeared and took him out into the common room. There was something new in the tower, he had heard Papa and Daddy talking but didn't comprehend what. Uncle Bruce was there too, and then Papa placed him down and informed him to play gently.

 

“Why don't you try to smooth things out with Tony.” Bruce said pushing his chair closer to were the little boy was eyeing the kitten. “I'll watch Peter.”

 

Steve seemed a little apprehensive but agreed nonetheless. “Thanks Bruce, you know how he is when he's in a mood.”

 

“mmhmm, He'll pout and bang around in the workshop for a while.” Banner chuckled, “Try bribing him with food.”

 

With a word of thanks Steve disappeared into the lift.

 

Little Peter loves his uncle Bruce but isn't sure about the kitty. He sits for a while just watching the fluffy black creature sitting in a spot of light lazily flicking it's tail back and forth.

 

Loki isn’t wild about this idea either. Little hands tend to be stick with who knows what, moreover he recalls how Thor used to treat animals – petting too hard or dragging them around . Then again, that hadn't changed with age had it? Loki considers the quiet child who seems very cautious and small. Raising up off the carpet he tilts his head and takes a few steps forward. Try as he might to deny it, Loki has always harbored a fondness for children and despite all the legends about him – never had any. He always wanted to though, this makes him approach the small boy.

 

Seeing the creature approaching Bruce decides it might be a good idea to sits on the floor with Peter in his lap coaxing the kitten closer. Just encase.

 

“Do you like the kitty Pete? His names Loki and he's very small so we have to be very gentle okay?” He explains to Peter, the little boy still not very sure as he reaches out a small hand.

  
Loki thinks Bruce is very good with children, not what he expected at all that perhaps there is more to the man given all that he has learned recently. His soft mannerisms and gentle presence, severed as a steady buffer between the noise. Loki found himself most comfortable with Banner, he wasn't sure he wanted to exam that feeling just yet. For now he'd just enjoy the simple joy of a curious little mind.

 

The child smiled and giggled as he stroked the kittens soft fur and Loki found a fondness for Peter. For a moment the world was a kinder place, playing with the child and enjoying the little boys happiness.

****  
Tony and Steve return after an hour to find Bruce on the sofa reading a book to a sleepy Peter. The scene was so sweet that the pair stood silently just taking in the image.

 

Bruce quietly read along to “The hungry caterpillar” with Peter nestled in the crook of his arm. The little boy was breathing softly holding the Kitten who was also slumbering. Even if their days were filled with villains and the cruelties of the world – at least there were moments like this. Moments when everything slowed down and the world was kinder. Moments that they could hold close to their hearts.

 

Steve couldn't help himself and ask Jarvis to take a picture.

 


End file.
